TRIGGER WARNING. This post talks about abusive relationships.

“Relationships can feel like a total mine field. No single relationship is the same and that is what can make relationships so tricky to understand. Often relationships can feel wonderful at the beginning but some can become more negative as time goes on. The young people I work with are often exploring new relationships and the ups and downs that can come along with them. I meet lots of young people who are enjoying great relationships that are supportive and loving, but there are others that are struggling to understand what a loving relationship should look like. This blog explores just that. It will talk about some of the signs of an unhealthy or “toxic” relationship and how they might not always be easy to spot.

“New relationships are generally really exciting at the start. They can make us feel like we have butterflies in our stomach. The start of a new relationship is often called the “honeymoon period”. Everything is new and exciting. You feel like you want to be with that person all the time and you feel so happy that you have a smile glued to your face so much that your cheeks hurt.

“Eventually the honeymoon can start to fade, we may move into a more stable period of our relationship where we feel safe, content and comfortable. We’ve lowered our guard and allowed this person to see all sides of us, including our vulnerabilities and our weaknesses. Unfortunately it’s a horrible fact that some partners will exploit this and you may not see that it is happening. We can be so wrapped up in that honeymoon period that we can start to lose sight of ourselves, questioning our own judgement, challenging our values and adapting ourselves in ways that we aren’t really comfortable with. In some cases this can be where negative behaviours have a chance to creep into relationships.

“Let’s talk about gas lighting. What is gas lighting? It can be tricky to spot, it is a covert type of emotional abuse where your partner misleads you, creating a false narrative and making you question your judgements and reality. The victim of gas lighting starts to feel unsure about everything in their world and even wonders if they are losing their sanity, you are made to feel like everything is wrong and it’s all because of things you have done.

“Gas lighting is subtle and can start off really small. You’ve made a decision and you’re happy with it, but then your partner asks you questions that make you challenge that decision and ultimately feel foolish for making it at all. An example might be as simple as what you’re making for dinner. You tell your partner that you’ve been thinking about macaroni cheese all day and you’re so excited to finally eat it that you rushed to the supermarket and picked up all the ingredients. When you put it down in front of them with a smile on your face, they say something that makes your heart sink “what the heck is this? Why on earth would you think that macaroni cheese is a good meal to have in the middle of the summer?” Or maybe they go further; “that’s the most stupid thing I have ever seen you do! Are you thinking straight? I’m taking a photo of this dinner and sending it to my friends, because they’re going to agree how stupid this is.”

“You feel incredibly hurt, but you also feel foolish and embarrassed. The fact that they’re telling their friends means they must be right and you must be wrong. You must be stupid, why did you think this was a good idea? This one incident leaves a little acorn of self-doubt in the pit of your stomach and if your partner continues with this behaviour, it will grow.

“What can often follow gas lighting is coercive controlling behaviour. Coercive control is any controlling behaviour; either a one-off act or a pattern of acts which takes away another person’s freedom and ability to feel positively about themselves which results in the victim feeling more dependent on the abuser.

“Because you feel that you can’t trust your own judgement you believe them when they tell you that you’re brand new outfit makes you look awful and you should change it. Or that you shouldn’t go out with your friends because they secretly hate you and your family take advantage of you. Eventually you stop wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself. You stop doing the things that bring you joy, you isolate yourself from your friends and family until eventually the only person you have in your life is your partner.

“All of these examples are emotional and mental abuse, which on occasions can also lead on to physical and sexual abuse.

“If your relationship is starting to turn negative there will be signs you can spot. But in order to do so, you have to take time for yourself to remember who you are and your value. Perhaps stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself these questions:

1. Are you isolated from friends and family?
   Are you always on your own? Do you still go to the places you used to?
2. Are you free to do as you wish?
   Do you feel like you’re able to do whatever you want whenever you want it? Or do you worry about the consequence if your partner finds out?
3. Do you feel supported by your partner?
   When you reflect on your day do you feel good or has everything you’ve done been judged and criticised by your partner?
4. Does your partner show you trust and respect?
   Did you tell your partner that the bus was at 10am and you’re waiting but they’re not there? They’ve just ignored what you planned and what you wanted and now you’re left feeling awful and alone.
5. Are you confident about who you are?
   When you think of what you love, what makes you happy, have you done any of this recently?
6. Do you take time for yourself?
   Do you show yourself self-care? Or do you feel like you don’t deserve this?
7. Are you always waiting for things to change or get better?

“When we’re in love, we can justify poor behaviour. We can tell ourselves that they don’t mean it, they’ve had bad previous relationships and they don’t know how to show love and that’s why they don’t trust you. Or perhaps they’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs when they behave like it, so you know it’s not who they really are. Maybe they’re nice to you sometimes, they brought you a coffee in bed this morning, so they must really love you. They’re not all bad.

“So let’s end this with going back to the beginning. Let’s talk about when the honeymoon period had ended and you cooked that fabulous macaroni cheese. When they challenged you, you knew that they were wrong and that dinner was great, you’d told people all day that you were going to cook it and no one else said what your partner said.

“This is why it is so important to always try our hardest to remain true to ourselves, especially when we start new relationships. Remember that you’re capable of making your own decisions and you’ve been doing a great job of it so far.

“If any of these negative behaviours are appearing in your relationships please talk to someone about it. A friend, a youth worker, a family member, a teacher…anyone that makes you feel safe. But when you do that, you have to listen to what they’re saying. Allow yourself to hear that you’re being treated badly and that you deserve more. That’s when you can start the journey back to yourself.

“Love should make you feel safe and happy. That’s what we all deserve.”

If this blog post has made you feel like you need to talk to someone, please reach out to us here at YG.

Or you could contact Street the Safe Teenage Relationship Education & Empowerment Team, A county wide service providing specialist support for young people, aged 13-19, who are affected by domestic and teenage relationship abuse and/or displaying harmful behaviours in their close relationships.
Call: 01452 228802
Email: STREETreferrals@victimsupport.org.uk

Or GDASS. Gloucestershire Domestic Abuse Support Service is a county-wide service designed to reduce the level of domestic abuse and improve the safety of victims and their families.
Call: 01452 726 570
Visit: www.gdass.org.uk
Email: support@gdass.org.uk

“The culture of an organisation is its personality and character. Shared values, beliefs and assumptions about how people should behave and interact, how decisions should be made and how work activities should be carried out. An organisation’s culture is shaped by its history and environment as well as the people who lead and work for it. This week at YG we have been exploring our own culture.

“I set up a series of five meetings for staff from across Young Gloucestershire to talk openly about culture. The idea was to explore with the wider team how our culture impacts the way we work, the way we feel and how we do our job. An opportunity to be and reflect rather than always doing and fixing which is what a lot of our work entails. The discussions were frank, open, reflective and educational and have already started seeing a positive impact in the way we feel about the organisation since.

“We took time to remember what is good about the culture in our organisation, what we get right, what we appreciate and the impact this has. We understood that not all things work for all people and there are lots of areas in which we can improve and learn. A clear message for me is the need to educate, share and inform the teams more about how the organisation works. A clear example being that some of the staff hadn’t thought about the impact of the economic climate on YG’s finances, they had just been thinking about their own personal impact. The news that our energy bill has increased £25,000 which is the cost of a staff salary for a year, helped staff to understand some of the difficult decisions we have to make.

“As part of the sessions I shared my own story and journey creating an opportunity to understand who I am, how that influences the decisions I make and why I work for YG and Infobuzz. When decisions are being made in an organisation that you don’t understand and you don’t have a personal relationship with the person who makes them it can be easy to think they don’t care, they don’t understand and they have hidden agendas. The feedback I have received this week has shown that understanding who I am and some of the challenges, difficult decisions and compromises I have to make in my role to ensure that YG can do the best it can for young people has really helped staff understand more. Understand that they are valued even if we can’t always give the team what they want, that things aren’t always as simple as they look.

“I am also hoping it has empowered the teams to be accountable to each other and hold each other to account in creating the culture they want to work in. I can lead and set a direction of travel, but it is the teams who really create the culture, the way they respect each other, the way they respond to each other, the way they appropriately challenge, learn and grow together. I hope that the conversations we have started will continue within teams, in discussions in the pub, in discussions with colleagues and friends and that we can all continue to learn, grow and develop.

“Fundamentally I am trying to create the best environment I can to get the best outcomes for children and young people in our county. I am hoping the conversations this week will help to do that. This is the start not the end of these conversations, mixed in with them will be some education about the ins and outs of how an organisation like YG works too. If you want to reflect more on culture have a listen to this podcast it’s a good reflection of the current work place challenges around culture.”

“As I spent the morning working through a detailed cash flow for the organisation until March 2023, it led me to reflect on the challenges that we all now face as a sector. Covid was a challenging time with lots of extra needs in our communities. But what also came with this was new investment which allowed us to respond quickly and develop our services to meet this growing need. We now find ourselves heading towards a new cost of living crisis for our communities, the difference this time is we are also heading to a cost of living crisis for charities.

“I was told last week there are currently 150,000 vacancies in Gloucestershire alone at the moment. We find ourselves in a time where there are more vacancies than ever before, with the cost of living crisis driving salaries up. In addition to this in the last few months we have seen our gas and electric bill double (it is looking like this will happen again) many of our costs, such as resource costs, have increased by 10%, our fuel bill and mileage claims have significantly increased and back in April we awarded our staff a 4.5% cost of living pay rise to help them deal with their affordability challenges.

“Alongside all of this, our income hasn’t changed. Contracts we are delivering haven’t seen an increase in price and it is believed there will be less funding available next year and limited inflation increases. On top of this due to austerity there has been little invested in youth work training and development in the last eight years. It feels like we are heading towards a black hole. Around 85% of our spending is on staff salaries, we are a people facing organisation, which means there are few areas we can make savings to support the increasing salary, utilities and fuel bills.

“And we are not the only ones feeling the pinch. We are also seeing an increase in need in our communities, growing waiting lists of young people who require our help, support and guidance.

“The question for debate is how we meet the growing need, whilst balancing our increased outgoings and recruitment challenges? How do we continue to provide services and respond to challenges in the world we find ourselves in? When will we find ourselves losing charities/services within our communities because they can no longer survive?

“We are determined this won’t happen to us, we are increasing our fundraising efforts, we are increasing our investment in training to ensure our staff are the most skilled they can be, we are looking at the detail of our finances to ensure we are managing as efficiently as we can. We are continuing to develop services, respond to needs, and ensure that we are supporting our communities in the best way we can. We are committed to young people and families and we will continue to seek to find innovative and creative ways to meet needs.

“We are also committed to looking after our staff and will continue to seek to implement additional cost of living pay rises, appropriate expenses and training. The management team here at Young Gloucestershire and Infobuzz have been debating how we can continue to meet the high standards those who receive our services expect from us. We believe our staff team and the exceptional work they do are at the heart of it. We have implemented a whole range of steps to ensure that we are supporting, developing and enabling our staff to achieve outcomes for those we work with, this includes:

• A week long induction process for new staff to ensure everyone is given a clear and good on boarding experience.

• An internal training calendar to upskill and develop our teams, we are adding to this all the time.

• An internal management development programme to allow staff to grow and develop.

• Counselling support and clinical supervision for our teams where needed.

• Team events and activities to allow team development and growth as well as have fun together and to celebrate our successes (this includes summer and Christmas parties for the staff and or their families).

• Developing well-being zones within our buildings so staff and young people can take time out.

• Ensuring our buildings and resources are of a high standard to enable a good working environment.

• Weekly safeguarding drop-in sessions to get support with more challenging cases.

• Bi-monthly supervisions for all staff.

• Well-being action plans and discussion opportunities for staff where needed.

• Development of an equality and diversity subgroup and strategy.

• A commitment to review the impact of cost of living each year (we have provided a cost of living pay increase consistently for the last eight years).

• A commitment to pay above the minimum living wage.

“We hope all these steps, as well as the ongoing culture conversations that are taking place within our teams across the organisation, help us to continue to improve our workplace and help staff to feel support so they can be the best they can be. We hope in return, our teams will commit to do the best job they can, be passionate about the young people and families they work with and strive to hit targets which means they are getting results for young people.

“What we ask of our supporters; be patient as we battle our growing waiting lists and increasing costs. Connect us to people who may be able to support us with fundraising, people who may want to volunteer to mentor young people, people who might want to work with young people in our communities. If you want to join a team of people who are seeking to positively impact and improve the situation for others then why not take a look at our jobs page on our website.

“As an organisation we gave it our all through Covid and we will give it our all through the current financial crisis and all of your support is greatly appreciated.”

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.

1 June 2022

“When I heard about YG’s mentoring project I thought this would be a great way for me to help young people to realise things about their life, to see things with a different perspective and to identify and understand some of their feelings. Because it’s hard as a young person. This is my chance to help someone, to give them the help and support I wish I had when I was younger.

“My own upbringing was a difficult one. I come from a family of travellers. I was dragged between the UK and France living with my half-brother and my mum and dad who had their own difficulties in life. I was brought up around drugs, alcohol and abuse. I have seen and experienced things that no child should have to.

“Through all this trauma I kept believing that there had to be a better life out there for me. Through all the dark times I have had a drive to find a better life. But there have been a few individuals that really helped me along the way.

“A teacher – who gave me her time, listened and cared. After I returned to the UK at the age of 11, unable to speak much English and not able to read or write, I would put my headphones in and shut out the world. To this day I remember Mrs Grey and the care and interest she took in me. I sensed that she had had her own difficult experiences and saw something in me. She invested extra time in me and took me under her wing.

“A support worker – who although only worked with me for a short period made a huge impact in my life. Rebecca, helped me understand my mental health, she was there for me when I experienced my own bad relationships and the birth of my son (who would ultimately change my life). She gave me a new insight to some of my feelings and behaviours and helped me to find ways to open up and to manage my mental health.

“A key worker – she pushed me, she got me going to groups for support, she taught me about well-being and self-care. Charlotte helped me see the world in a more positive light and she had faith in me.

“Throughout my life I have had many people let me down, but the support I receive from these women has stuck with me. Along with my own ingrained desire to ‘do better’ I now find myself in the position where I can pass on some of my experiences to a younger person who might be struggling with challenges in their life. I think back to what I wish I had known when I was 13. How did I want the people around me to talk to me? What could they have done to make me feel more comfortable to open up and talk about my feelings whilst making it fun? How can I make a connection with a young person, but beyond that, give them skills to cope and manage with life on their own?

“Even though mentoring is all about the opportunity to help someone else, it’s also for me. I am learning a lot to. The training has been great, I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and to increase my skills. I hope together my mentee and I will learn from each other too.”

If you would like to find out more about becoming a mentor with YG then please get in touch volunteering@youngglos.org.uk.